God showed me a very important lesson about 1 week ago. It has left an indelible mark in my walk with him. One that I pray, will always be a bedrock for me to fall back on in reminder to me of God’s goodness.
I’ve been learning the guitar for 6 months now and in this time, I have made a purchase of 2 guitars from an online merchant due unavailability from local luthers. I was quite picky about the guitar that I selected as I didn’t want it to be something too common nor too expensive, which is quite a tall order. On top of that, I wanted only guitars made of solid woods and not laminates. So lo and behold, in my search, I stumbled upon this website www.richardsguitars.co.uk from which I found both my “beloved” guitars.
I decided to ”try out” the merchant by first placing an order for a lower cost guitar. The reason for wanting this guitar was 2 fold. Firstly, I was starting to outgrow the existing guitar (yes I have owned a total of 3 guitars till date, the first has been passed on to my colleague who was keen to take it up as well but didn’t want to spend any money) which was a solid top with laminate back and sides. It lacked the rounded mellown bass and ringing trebles that I liked. So i decided I wanted a guitar that would have those characteristics. The other reason was because I planned to use this guitar for praise and worship when I became good enough to play in the team, so I was looking for a guitar that would grow with me. One that was ok in general for strumming and fingerstyle. So in a 3 weeks time, the guitar arrived. Wow! Excellent! Everything came in great shape all the way from UK. I was pleased. The merchant, Richard, was also a great guy to deal with and my confidence grew. The guitar by the way sounds simply wonderful, round, mellow, smooth, really good for the price I paid.
A few months later, I thought to myself, “Now for the real deal!”. I had actually been eyeing, (more like coveting) another guitar he had in his stable. This one was a bit more expensive, but nevertheless, met the criterias I had set. So I hit the “Buy” button and it arrived in a few weeks time as before, but this time with a difference. Upon inspecting the guitar, I realized that the guitar had suffered some minor localized scratches that was a result of a metal burr embedded in the guitar case, possibly not removed due to negligence during packing. At the sight of it, Iwas frustrated, furious, heart-broken, angry, mad plus a whole lot of other negative feelings. I kept asking myself “Why, why, why?” “Why couldn’t it be just like the first time?” “Why couldn’t he have checked the guitar case before putting the guitar in and shipping it half-way round the world to Singapore?” In my frustration, I took pictures of the affected part showing the scuffs and scratches and the culprit. I dropped Richard a note, telling him that this wasn’t acceptable and that I would send it back to him for a 1 to 1 exchange. I was feeling cheated that I paid for something that came in less than perfect condition and was for the lack of a better word, utterly peeved. I whined and grumbled, moaned and groaned.
Richard wrote back suggesting that I get a local luther buff up the scratches and that he would compensate me the difference. (We usually discuss via an online chat system that he uses which I find pretty good) He suggested that I didn’t send back the guitar due to the long distance involved. I was saddened as I had been so bent on getting a new one. With a deep sigh, I picked up the guitar, took one good look at it, then placed it on my lap. I held it as I normally would, closed my eyes and played. I played some familiar songs, songs that I had been practicing as I was tasked to lead praise and worship in a recent retreat. As I was playing, I suddenly felt a strong message being imprinted in my mind. The message went like this: “Forgive, as you have been forgiven”. All at once, I knew this message came from my Father and I teared. Despite all the things that I have done in my life that were sin in his eyes, he still chose to reconcile me to him. Despite my vileness and wretchedness, he still chose to forgive me, anticipating that one day I might understand his great love for me, and that I did. The guitar, despite the scuffs, sounded more beautiful than I had expected. Every note resonated within me with so much depth and intimacy. At this, I decided I would let the matter rest and proceeded to seek him out online to inform him of my decision. Little did I know that Richard had been watching out for me as well and even went as far as posting in Twitter to inform me that he wasn’t trying to avoid me, which was funny I thought. Just as I was reading his updates on Twitter, I realized that he had been going through some teething issues himself as well, having to adapt to his daughter’s new school schedule, having to look for new guitar technicians as the current one started slacking in his work, having to “repaid and mend” supplier relationships, sort out delivery issues etc, my “problem” seemed insurmountably small.
We met each other online and just before he could say anything (he’s quite a bubbly chap when he’s not caught up with work) I told him that I would let the matter rest and pursue it no further. I apologized to him and explained that I was sorry for bringing about so much trouble for something so small. He heaved a big sigh of relief and thanked me profusely for lifting the burden off his shoulders. He even offered me a voucher / coupon to thank me, but I counter offered. (you can get an idea of what I asked for if you visit his twitter site. haha.) We parted on great terms, with no burdens, no hard-feelings, feeling light enough to fly every so freely, with no chains or bonds to hold us back. And in forgiving, I found that I had also been set free and relieved from whatever burden of “injustice” I had felt. It was truly amazing. We had become friends. And honestly, I wouldn’t hesitate buying from him again.
Till today, this “lil scratched” guitar has continued to amaze me with its tone, and whenever I see those scratches, I remember Richard. =)
Sorry for the long-windedness, I must admit I am aging faster than I thought, but I just felt the need to pen down this important lesson on forgiveness. Looking back, this was just a simple one, and I thank God for his forgiveness unto me and for patiently using this incident as a learning point to help me get this break through in my walk with him. Amen
